This is the newest advertising strategy from the dairy industry: let’s brainwash consumers to think that unless they are buying OUR product, they are only buying a cheap, sub-par imposter.
Hey dairy industry, your cheap tricks won’t work on me. Why? Because I’m smart enough to know that the ‘fake’ milk I drink (ie: almond milk, soy milk, coconut milk, etc.) doesn’t have to be ‘real’ milk to be worth my hard-earned money. You see, the ‘fake’ milk in my refrigerator is a far better product than that ‘real’ milk you guys are slinging. Unlike your ‘real’ milk, my ‘fake’ milk doesn’t harm animals, is better for the environment, provides more per serving of calcium and fiber (something your ‘real’ milk lacks) as well as a formidable amount of protein, at the same time as providing less saturated fat and zero cholesterol, contains much healthier phyto-estrogens (plant-based estrogens) rather than animal estrogens as well as more manganese (necessary for bone formation), thiamin, niacin, and magnesium, and it simply tastes better (got phlegm? not from the milk I drink!).
You know what I think? I think you’re scared. And you should be. You’re scared that all us ‘hippie’ animal rights activists are actually influencing your customer base to stop consuming your product. And we are. But it’s not very hard work considering the above listed pros and cons. You’ve made it far too easy for us. I have an idea… maybe you guys should think about selling ‘fake’ milk instead? Oh wait — you ARE!
It seems that supply and demand is in full swing, and guess what’s in demand: ‘fake’ milk! You guys clearly already know this, which is why you took the time to bother selling it at all. I guess you guys are finally starting to evolve considering our consumer-based natural selection.
(By the way, I have some news for you: YOU work for US. YOU provide the things that WE want. WE tell YOU what will sell, NOT the other way around.)
But don’t kid yourselves by thinking we’re actually going to buy your ‘fake’ milks over our truly compassionate ‘fake’ milks. See, not all ‘fake’ milks are created equal. This is because we know that the profits you gain from your ‘fake’ milk sales are just going to help fund the production of your ‘real’ milk — something we are very much against. So until you stop making ‘real’ milk and only produce ‘fake’ milk, you’re not getting a cent from me. There are so many truly compassionate companies selling superior products to yours. You’re fighting a losing battle. Nice try, though.
So please keep putting out these advertisements. They really show just how obsolete your entire industry has become. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.
I saw the new ad campaign and thought the same thing! I love this blog, by the way. Good work. What a stupid ad campaign… and where else do you see such a generalized ad campaign… basically “we don’t care who you buy it from, as long as it supports the dairy industry we want you to buy it.” Real Milk comes from Real Nipples, with a montage of mammal nipples. That’s what the new milk campaign should be.
“Real milk comes from real nipples”… I love that! It’s also meant to be consumed by real babies. I think all “real” milk should be served in a sippy cup.
Right on, Kara! Have you seen the recent commercial where a little boy wakes up from a bad dream and his mother tries to soothe him by offering a glass of “alternative” milk? As the boy is telling the story of the scary monster in his dream, the mother starts shaking the “alternative” milk carton, grimacing as she does so, her hair flying in her face, a look of sheer madness contorting her features to the point where her son is terrified and screams. The tag line was something like “Real Milk — you don’t have to shake it” WTF??
Keep fighting the good fight!
Hahaha! I haven’t seen that commercial but I want to! It seems incredibly silly. It’s also interesting because if they have any experience with REAL juice – it definitely requires shaking! So does that mean that since they think carton-shaking is so frightening that they feed their children real milk and fake juice? That sure sounds like a recipe for a long healthy life LOL.
I’m so badass, I don’t shake my almond milk.
The thought just occured to me: REAL milk (as in RAW milk) DOES require shaking. The milk these advertisements are talking about is the not-as-real, processed milk that has been homogenized so that it DOESN’T require shaking. It seems even “real” milk isn’t so “real” after all. Silly dairy industry.
Awesome, I was actually thinking about writing a post about the same thing. I’m sick of this new propaganda.
Great blog and comments.
I’ve noticed that not all the almond milk brands require shaking. But when I shake them anyway, just for fun, they get sorta frothy, which I think is a nice texture on top.
“Real” milk sure goes “bad” fast, as I recall (from when I drank it in the dark ages). I keep “fake” milk in my fridge forEVER and it stays as fresh as the day I opened it.
I’ve heard several generic dairy ads on sports radio lately; next time I will make a point of writing down the name and the website so I can send them a friendly note about my love for the “fake” stuff.
It’s so easy, now that I’m “in the know” about the “real” milk and “real” flesh and “real” eggs, to see through animal product ads, which are full of fluff, trickery, deceit, and out-and-out lies.
What I love is that the standard line of why humans should drink milk is for calcium for “healthy/strong bones,” when in fact, dairy milk leaches the calcium from our bones. The myth persists. But I think you’re right in that “alternative” milks are gaining ground. My local market is now carrying almond, soy and coconut milks.
Thanks for taking the time to write this. Great job!
Great post! And it is astute to mention that they work for us! As consumers, reality says they are beholden to us to produce items we will want to buy. Trouble is… They have a very rich, generous Sugar Daddy in the Federal Government – If not for those frequent gifts, grants, fundings and hand outs to the dairy industry — Things would be a lot different (better).
Let us all stay at our message… This is how it’s done! 😉
Good observation. When they start squealing, they must be feeling the pinch. I wonder what amount of “market share” shrinkage caused the reaction?
The ad with Mom shaking the carton is so absurd – I really think it works in favor of alternative milks! It clearly shows how desparate and to what ridiculous lengths they will go to in order to try to protect the ‘stolen’ calves’ milk.
Way to go! I love that you’re declaring open warfare against a horrible and harmful industry! I make my own fortified almond and other nut milks. It is so easy, affordable and delicious! Just another step in being independent from large corporations, plus who needs carageenan in their alt milk anyway?
Thank you all for your heartfelt comments. It makes me glad to know that there are so many thinking, feeling people out there in this seemingly cruel world. We’re changing the world one “milk” carton at a time!
so true….
almond ando soya milk real milk